We all have triggers, we react and respond to the people, situations and the environment around us. Yet no one can actually trigger you, but YOU.
Why do I say that, well because you are in control of how you perceive the world around you. You are in control of how you react to situations around you. You are in control of your responses and most importantly your are in control with how you feel.
I hear it all the time
“he made me feel this way”
“she made me do that”
“it is because of how they treated me”
“I didn’t have a choice in my response”
Yet all along you have had a choice, that to give your power to someone else or to claim it as your own.
See when we take back control of how we feel, react and respond to what is happening in our life then we take back our power as well.
Yes, of course, situations are not pleasant, people may be unkind, nasty even. Attitudes may be projected onto you. Things may occur that you have little control over. The belief that we have no control is false however, you can control your response, you can stop knee jerk reactions, you can choose how you feel.
Please note I am not saying for a moment don’t feel upset, angry, sad, frustrated, annoyed or hurt. They are all valid feelings to things that may be happening yet you chose to let them control your day or you chose to acknowledge the emotion and deal with them in a productive way.
You can let your emotions be a trigger for stress, poor behaviour and attitudes if you wish, yet my bet is that’s not working all that well, in the end on holding you back. Or you can choose to allow these triggers to spark resilience, clairity, positive movement forward.
How I hear you ask?
1. Know what your triggers are – by identifying what sets you off you have a greater chance of changing the way you respond.
2. Have set action plan when triggered – for instance, step out of the room away from the situation, give yourself some space before reacting, count to 10 etc.
3. Identify what is an emotional response rather than a proactive response- hot-headed, angry, upset are not great for positive ways of dealing with situations.
4. Ask yourself do you even need to respond or react to what is happening or are you buying into someone else triggers.
5. Take time to reflect afterwards, you won’t always respond in a positive way, yet reflection can help identify how you could do things differently int he future
6. Own your feelings – don’t suppress them, yet don’t explode them either, own them acknowledge them and learn to let go. Holding on to feelings does not change what has happened.
These few simple steps allow you to gain back the control you give away when you say its was someone else fault you acted that way.
Remember you have a choice, choose wisely and take back your power and manage your triggers.